expectations

i think coach just raised his expectations of me. but i've been doing relatively better because when we play match, its the J1s who are quite new to bball who defends me. And that is why i had the confidence and ability to put the ball into the basket. Its not because i have improved. I know it better than anyone else. I cant perform during competition. I wouldnt classify it under "not performing to my usual standard", but rather, "my standard has always been this lousy and you overestimated me". Its nothing but the truth. Put stronger players to defend me and i;ll lose the ball. I cant see a thing when i dribble and all i want to do is to pass the ball away and pray that i sprain my ankle or something. I dont want to disappoint anyone, so i dont want them to have perceived expectations. I cant describe how fking scared i am for seasons i really want to play well and not screw up but this is really hard for me. i know i hadnt broken that psychological barrier built within myself. tell me what to do