21 guns

this song gives me a really powerful feeling: familiar, heavy... and i just feel like i can relate to it so much. great song i would say. 21 guns by green day. quite an old song, but i chanced upon it only recently. so i couldnt sleep last night partly because this song kept replaying in my mind. and partly because i was imagining things. oh yes. i've been imagining/fantasizing(LOL!!) alot lately especially when im studying. whether im alone or not, with music or not. this is really bad i cant keep living in my own fantasy.

on a side note, i think i need to be a better person. this is not the first time im saying it. i feel like my sincerity's disappearing bit by bit every day. i dont even know sometimes, whether im sincere about it or am i just being nice. whether i really want to do something for someone else or is it just to get into their good books. i dont think i'll ever be good enough for u.

well and this brings me to another point. i really dont like it when ppl make use of me and think that i cant tell. truth is, most of the time i know, but i dont want to expose u or reject u. i'll just let u successfully use me if its nothing major, but then i'll make a mental note. and sometimes it happens all the time. i get so fed up i wish i didnt treated u nicely to begin with. its too cruel to put a stop just like this.

right......... look at the above chunk. thats why i say i need to be a nicer person. not on the outside, but kinda like make it my nature to treat ppl nicely, think things simple/positive, and have less motive.

i want to be someone that can match up to u.