i thought i was a rational person... it all made practical sense. it was all within expectation. i told myself i’ll be fine eventually. but why does it still hurt after so long? when is “eventually” coming, if it ever does?

there was not one “earth-shattering” event that happened that changed me, but the desperation snowballed till tonight where i finally got pushed to sort some thoughts out. i never saw it this way, and now there’s just so much guilt. i wish i couldve understood this earlier. it’s alr too late...